Zira

I wanna tell you about what happened today but I don’t wanna cry again. :(

It’s embarassing and I’m too egoistic to admit but, I miss that person. I’ve been secretly praying whenever I missed him that if he’s really my jodoh then I hope we found our way back to each other. I don’t know if this was just my hormones kicking in cause it’s that time of the month or the fact that he accidently called me two nights ago when I least expecting. I was so nervous my heart was racing wondering why would he called. It felt like a stupid and mean prank when it turned out that he actually wanna called someone else but accidently called me instead. That same voice. I thought I was okay I thought I could keep it cool but today it comes down on me with everything else. I’m pretty sure I was just stressed out okay nothing serious. But seeing my friends and their partner having a great time I can’t help from feeling this way. I hope this feeling won’t last long, I hope it goes away quickly, either way, everything will be okay, you will be okay, Zira.

Things can be overwhelming sometimes. You’re feeling something that you shouldn’t. You’re mad at yourself and everyone. Acknowledge the feeling but take a step back, so it won’t consume you.

Aaa headache! But I still haven’t sleep yet cause I was playing games. I am always bad at games, that is why I don’t really have any game apps installed on my phone. But now! I am so into this game called ‘Fight List’. Not that I am good at it or anything haha I just like it. Win some lose some haha. Also another ‘game’ that I like to play is ‘Duolingo’. Well to be exact, it’s not a game actually haha. It’s a language learning app. I used it to learn Korean of course haha. Qeen introduced it to me and I have fallen in love with it keke. I was sooo into it at first. It’s like a game cause it’s interactive so I enjoy it. Okay I should sleep I have to wake up early tomorrow. Annyeong! P/s: why does my blog post sounds like a child’s diary? I’m 24!

The reason why I hate birthday surprises or anything of some sort is because I will definitely cry! And I look ugly when I cry so I hate it haha. Even small gestures make me cry. Truly am a very sensitive person haha. Saying thank you is even harder when you’re choking with your own tears. But really, thank you! For everything! For making me feel special on my special day. Thank you, friend. 💜

Don’t feel bad for having a hard time with your friends. Because you’re human. And don’t forget that they’re human too.

I was with Ina at her room tonight. It was late and we’re kinda hungry. But I don’t wanna eat just bread cause it’s so boring and I’m so lazy to cook either. Eating out? Only kedai tomyam is open at this time. Eating nasi will make me too full so I don’t want that too. Mcd? Essspensive. At the end we did’t eat anything. 🙃 But I did eat tons of kek batik. You think that should fuel me, nahhh my belly is still grumbling a little. 🙂

Whyyy do I always only wanna do my work in a coffee shop? Hmm?! As if I have a lot of money to spend around. I don’t know why, is it really because of the coffee? Or I just like to work in a busy place but without having people paying attention to me? Cause you know, in a restaurant or cafe, people might be observing others there but then they just mind their own business. Good thing McCafe is nearby, before this I have to drive all the way to Setia Tropika to go to Starbucks. Besides, coffee there is a bit cheaper. That’s a plus. I can’t say that I didn’t get flattered at the attention hahahaha. A girl ordering Iced Americano and working on her laptop alone for quite some time, cam cool kan, it peaks a few interest you know. Hahaha. Boo zira. I only say this here cause I don’t think anyone reading this hahaha. Dah dah 그만~ ㅎㅎㅎㅎㅎ

Ahhh na tteokbokki mogeoshippeo!

Qeen tweeted about how the full moon is so beautiful. I just glanced to the open windows, refusing to take a look at the night sky myself. Because I don’t want to be reminded of that person.

Why does it feels like I’m missing something? Or is this just a feeling of forgetting to do something that I wanna do? I think of that just now. And then I remember I haven’t write anything today. Nahhh I don’t think I’m that passionate with my blog haha.

Do I have to write a deep and emotional post every time? I hate it when every time I tryna make something or do something I'll compare myself to others then I would stop doing the things I wanna do because I feel like I'm not good enough. Right now I'm comparing myself to this girl who writes well and has meaningful content on her blog and also Vivy Yusof. Jeez Zira. Oh you know how I like swimming? Whenever I swim I will always look at other's swimming, how their skill are cool and how fast they swim and I became conscious of myself. It makes me don't wanna swim anymore cause I feel like I'm slow and the way that I swim is wrong. I always ended up my swimming session feeling down and unable to enjoy my time when in fact I was so excited to go swimming at the first place. So silly.  If you wanna write, just write. If you wanna swim, just keep swimming just keep swimming! :D

Why does the wifi always disconnected at around this time at night? I tried multiple times but won’t connect!  I was watching Hyori’s Bed and Breakfast just now. If you’re a fan of kshow and you just want to watch something light, you should try watching this show. It’s fun and relaxing. I feel comfortable watching this show.  I watch a lot of kshows these days. If you know me you should know that I have a lot of interest in Korean Language because I watched kdramas and kshows a lot. So because I watched it a lot lately I started to pick up some of the lines and conversations. Sometimes I react in Korean and think in Korean especially when I tried to express myself (like now: chigeum cheoreom). But when I tried to speak it out loud it won’t come out correctly because I only remember partially. Jjajinggna. It’s annoying. You think you know but you don’t haha.  What should I title this post hmm?

I guess kek batik would be my favourite cake now. Oh my mouth starts salivating now... I think food is a great way to express love and care. It’s nice to have your friends prepared you food sometimes. I feel loved. 💜

One day one post? Should I? Short ones. Just because. Writing long post might be a bit burdening at times. Maybe this will helps me to write more. Sometimes I feel like I know her and that we're good and close. Some days I feel clueless and she seems so cold and distant. Meolla.

...solutely no abs yet... I'm into fitness and workout these days. Yup I can't believe it too.

These days I've been feeding my desire for a partner by watching We Got Married and other cringey drama. Aigoo, things we did to ourselves.

I guess, I started to cry when he stopped crying.

When I saw myself writing down 'I miss you', I wonder if it's you or him, Or myself?

It's 2 AM in the morning. But everyone know that by the clock on their wall. Still I had to let them know, The suffering I'm going through. The lonely nights and the swollen eyes. Although it doesn't make it any easier. I had to, let them know.

No one is better off alone. Not even when you are so sure of it, no. I'm not saying that being alone and single is a bad thing. But having the mindset that you can't be happy with someone, sucks and not true at all. It might be difficult but it doesn't mean that you don't deserve it or it is not for you. If you're in pain and hurt and you think that way, maybe you're with the wrong person or you just have to work out the issues with them. I wish it was easy too, but what relationship does. I feel that way sometimes, that I'm better off alone, he does too. Maybe I'll be good at this, being alone. Maybe time would ease up my way. I've always believe in love even when it disappoints me. Now I want to believe in time more. I never think myself as rushing into a relationship, I just thought that, why not now? Why wait? Maybe that's my lesson. To wait. I'm so vulnerable right now, I swear if anyone's come knocking I would definitely want to...

She could be having her hectic day but still managed to send him a long-ass rant about her day and double-texting him to have his attention. Her body feels the aches, as if all of the muscles of her body were stretched to its limit but she still can lifts a finger and texts him goodnight. These little things are so important to her, maybe not as much to him but unfortunately  that's how things are. But she still asks, how to work this?

Hello. 20 facts about me ... UPDATED!  I listen to Kpop and my fav group is EXO. My bias is Oh Sehun. (Don't judge people for what kind of music they're listening to, you can do better than that.) * I don't follow kpop as much as I did before but Sehun is still ma fav boy!  I like spicy food but I don't like chilli sauce. *I don't think this would ever change.   I'm single. *I have a boyfriend yeayyy haha boo ***Haha not anymoreee boo I like shopping and makeup stuff. *But no moneyh I don't like meeting new people.  If I don't smile people will think that I'm in bad mood or something. Actually no, most of the time. That's just how my face is. Ketat, tak mesra alam. Haha. I used to like coffee very much now I'm not sure. *I love coffee! Ice cold coffee, black or sugarless with full cream milk :) I have a habit of listening to music till I doze off. *Only when I can't sleep I like reading. *I don't read as much as I wan...

Why is it so hard, to look into her eyes and say that you love her. p/s: 99 kata Zira XP

I hate how I could relate to some of the sad love song I listen to now.

When you're in love, the sky, the stars and the moon look so beautiful and meaningful. Sometimes it even reminds you of your loved ones. I remember the time when we both looked at the moon and mesmerized by its beauty. I hope you still find it beautiful. Because I still do. 15 March 2017 p/s: I should write more.